In The Army (transcript)
Episode: In The Army episode begins at the U.S. Army Induction Center. Pan across several pairs of men's legs, with Ren and Stimpy shivering in the middle. Snap back to Ren and Stimpy, who are frightened when the camera stops on them, and hug each other. Ren: eye chart. This... will.. hurt.. you. gulps vaccinator gun "Mega Shot" comes into frame. A hand grabs Ren's arm. Hey! sound as Ren is vaccinated. Uhhhh.... faints. to Stimpy. Ren walks up to Stimpy holding his hurt arm. Stimpy, look what they did to my arm! of Ren's arm with a large pulsating, bandaged welt. Stimpy: Yeah, I got shots too! sticks his tongue which also has a large puslating, bandaged welt. to Ren and Stimpy. An electric razor is applied roughly to their heads with grinding sound. Cut to Uniform Pick-up, Ren and Stimpy come up and grab army clothes. Ren and Stimpy are now in uniform and puts helmets on. Ren: You know, Stimpy, this army business ain't so bad. I think we found out niche. nods "Yes". scratches his back and Stimpy picks his nose. Drill Sergeant: ATTEEEEHUT!!! pants Ren: What did he say? Drill Sergeant: ATTEEEEETWOOO!!! glances at Stimpy Ren: Excuse me, could you- Drill Sergeant: Keep bow... HAICE! turns around AWARRRRDHAR! walks like a soldier and Ren turns around and runs to Stimpy. Hut, two, three, FOUR! Hut, two, three, FOUR! Hut, two, three, FOUR! KE BOW... PEACE! turns around AWARD... TURN! walks like a soldier and Ren runs on it Hut, two, three, HOW! WHO! COMPANY... HALT! salutes and Ren stops at him and salutes FREEMAN... COW!!! Drill Sergeant grabs Ren with his tongue. CAN'T YOU FOLLOW ORDERS?!? Sergeant's tongue throws Ren to the ground. Alright, you two insects. Give me... TWENTY! salutes does 20 push-ups. Ren: As a rule, I don't like to lend money. Yeah, but you got an honest face. holds up a twenty dollar bill. Drill Sergeant crushes Ren's hand and the twenty falls into the Drill Sergeant's palm. He gets angry and the money bursts into flame. Cut to Kitchen at the mess hall. Ren and Stimpy are peeling a bunch of potatoes. Stimpy: Hey Ren, I think the sarge likes you bes, 'cause he gave you the most potatoes to peel! was peeling his nose. Ren looks at the viewers. Cuts to Teargas Room. Announcer the Megaphone: Recruits Ren and Stimpy report for teargas training, duhhh. Ren: Teargas Room? and Stimpy smells like gas and they both disgusted. Pee-yew! I'll tell you, man. There's nothing to get me in there. nods "no". Ren and Stimpy walks to the right and stops at Drill Sergeant and Drill Sergeant points to left. Ren and Stimpy smiles and goes back to the left. Ren and Stimpy wears a gas mask and goes in the Teargas Room. They got all the stinky cheese in Teargas Room. Drill Sergeant the megaphone: REMOVE... MASK! and Stimpy remove his mask. Ren and Stimpy throws the mask away. Stimpy was sniffing gas and sniffing harder. Stimpy turns green by sadness, he start sobbing twice until... He sprays the water on his eyes crying. Stimpy screams. Stimpy screams loudly was running like a cartoon style. Stimpy was bawling and dashs away crying. Ren took his deep breath and he doesn't crying. Cuts to outside, Stimpy was crying. Ren goes out to the Teargas Room. Stimpy: HEY! How come you're not crying? sobs Ren: out I cheated! I held my breath! Stimpy, you're such a knucklehead. Listen ya moron. I'm smart. You're steupid. I know how to get around it big dopey sarge. Hey, stick with me, kid. I know where I'm going in life. put the Ren's mouth and goes in. Drill Sergeant was on his tank. Drill Sergeant: He BOW... to the left PLUB! and Stimpy was going in the Teargas Room. Ren was peeling watermelon and Stimpy does that too. Stimpy: Happy happy happy, peel peel peel! and Stimpy was holding his heavy bag. Ren was fall down to the mud. Ren tries to get up with his heavy bag twice but he can't, because this mud was too muddy. Ren: echoing STIMPYYYY!!!!!!! was walking with two heavy bag and Ren too. Stimpy: Phew. Ren: Alright, rest period's over. Let's get a move on. Did you hear me? I said, let's get going! You don't want to anger that big dopey sarrrrr- saws Drill Sergeant as mud creature. Ren's skin was melting and Ren's skeleton was screaming and also brain popped out, Cuts to Ren was holding two heavy bags and even Drill Sergeant. Must... please... pain... faster! pants and Stimpy was so tired and they both stay in bed. Oh man, my toes are killing me! and Stimpy put his shoes off and got stinky feet and toes too. Boy, it sure feels good to get those boots off. his toes Stimpy: You set it. Goodnight, Ren. Ren: Goodnight, Stimpy. And now, all I need... is 8 hours... of uninterrupted.. sleeeeep. close his eyes and go to sleep seconds later, Ren wakes up panicking during morning horn. Ren goes insane and looks at the bed. No! No sleep! HEEHEE! No sleep, no bed! crazily NO NO NO!! BED BED BED!! grabs the axe and laughs maniacally. Ren breaks the bed with an axe. He pants and lick his lips. Drill Sergeant: PLACES.... TOO!!! to anger, Ren looks at the axe and throws it away. A WORRRRD.... HUTT!!! Hut, two, three, BOW! Hut, two, three, BOW! and Stimpy was peeling H-BOMB. Ren was sobbing. Cuts to Ren and Stimpy goes outside. Ren was having a bloodshot eyes. Ren looks around. Ren: Psst. Hey, Guido. It's all so clear to me now. I'm the keeper of the Cheese, and you're the Lemon Merchant. You get it? And he knows it! That's why HE's gonna kill us! So we gotta beat it. Yeah. Before he lets loose the marmosets on us! Don't worry little missy, I'll save you! and Stimpy dashs away and slips to it and stops at Drill Sergeant. Drill Sergeant: growls Sergeant was about to squish Ren's arm and waves his Ren's hand proudly CONGRATULATIONS! You graduated! You full-fledged tank paratroopers. and Stimpy was screaming excitedly. Cuts to Ren and Stimpy on the flying machine. Ren: Stimpy, I can't believe it! We made it! Not only do we have these cool uniforms and the swirl tank, we're also proud members of relate fighting force! Ren and Stimpy: and Stimpy are saluted during singing, Airplane was falling two tanks down and parachutes two tanks. singing Oh, beautiful for spaceless skies, For amber waves of grain, For purple mountain majesties. Above the fruited plain! America! America! God shed His grace on thee! to black. When the episode ends, that stepping his toes like a soldier four times offscreen. Category:Episode Transcripts